Broadsheet, The Blog

Two Lady Artists with Bees in Their Bonnets

30 March 2007

Never Use, Ever.

How not to run a postcard-printing service.

1) Mail someone the wrong postcards (for instance, for a group exhibition in Wisconsin when the order was placed from Brooklyn).

2) When the customer calls to report the error, make her pay extra to have her new postcards delivered the following Saturday, since the postcards are needed that day, even though the mailing mistake was entirely the company's.

3) When the customer calls on Friday just to be sure the postcards will be delivered the following day, tell her there was an oversight and the postcards won't be delivered on Saturday afterall! As a minor concession, all of the shipping charges will be refunded. Plus she gets 20% off her next order (it'll never happen!) with

4) Don't give her any refund at all until she calls the next week to ask about it!

5) Only refund her half the charges, until she calls two days later to nag!

08 March 2007

Broadsheet Wants to Know, What's So Scary about Calling Yourself a Feminist?

1. You think feminism is incompatible with your wardrobe.

2. You think feminists’ shoes aren’t cute enough (but we all know it depends on how you wear them, what you wear them with and if you wear socks).

3. You’re afraid to earn equal pay for equal work.

4. You're afraid you won’t get laid anymore (except by large hairy women named Brenda).

5. You're afraid you won’t get art shows anymore (except at womyn’s co-op galleries).

6. You think you’ll have to throw out your paint and make art with your menstrual blood.

7. You're afraid you’ll have to read all those Julia Kristeva books (preferably in French) and pretend you understand them.

8. You’d miss the cat-calls and bottom-pinches if men suddenly started being more respectful.

9. You think those formerly flirtatious construction workers will hiss “Lorena Bobbitt” at you when you walk by their work sites.

10. You think you’ll have to stop trying to schtup your way into art shows (Like that even works. We know, we’ve tried.)

11. You think you’ll have to start paying for dinner (newsflash: lots of women already do and your dates all think you’re a cheap wench!)

12. You think you’ll have to stop shaving (eww! See #4 above).

13. You’re not so sure about women’s suffrage (sounds a lot like suffering, doesn’t it?)

14. You don’t want to have to like The Dinner Party.

15. But you do want to work at Hooters.

16. Because you really do have a nice rack. (We’ve so noticed! Who’s your surgeon?)

17. You feel overwhelmed by your current career choices, and think life was much easier when you could just choose between teacher, nurse & housewife.

18. You think it’s appropriate when the news about women politicians focuses on their hair and wardrobe.

19. You want the big diamond ring.

20. Your hipster burlesque pole dancing class makes you feel, like, so totally empowered.

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03 March 2007


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