Broadsheet, The Blog

Two Lady Artists with Bees in Their Bonnets

08 March 2007

Broadsheet Wants to Know, What's So Scary about Calling Yourself a Feminist?





1. You think feminism is incompatible with your wardrobe.

2. You think feminists’ shoes aren’t cute enough (but we all know it depends on how you wear them, what you wear them with and if you wear socks).

3. You’re afraid to earn equal pay for equal work.

4. You're afraid you won’t get laid anymore (except by large hairy women named Brenda).

5. You're afraid you won’t get art shows anymore (except at womyn’s co-op galleries).

6. You think you’ll have to throw out your paint and make art with your menstrual blood.

7. You're afraid you’ll have to read all those Julia Kristeva books (preferably in French) and pretend you understand them.

8. You’d miss the cat-calls and bottom-pinches if men suddenly started being more respectful.

9. You think those formerly flirtatious construction workers will hiss “Lorena Bobbitt” at you when you walk by their work sites.

10. You think you’ll have to stop trying to schtup your way into art shows (Like that even works. We know, we’ve tried.)

11. You think you’ll have to start paying for dinner (newsflash: lots of women already do and your Match.com dates all think you’re a cheap wench!)

12. You think you’ll have to stop shaving (eww! See #4 above).

13. You’re not so sure about women’s suffrage (sounds a lot like suffering, doesn’t it?)

14. You don’t want to have to like The Dinner Party.

15. But you do want to work at Hooters.

16. Because you really do have a nice rack. (We’ve so noticed! Who’s your surgeon?)

17. You feel overwhelmed by your current career choices, and think life was much easier when you could just choose between teacher, nurse & housewife.

18. You think it’s appropriate when the news about women politicians focuses on their hair and wardrobe.

19. You want the big diamond ring.

20. Your hipster burlesque pole dancing class makes you feel, like, so totally empowered.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous ml said...

Don't forget: you're afraid you'll lose your sense of humor and sound strident and pompous.

12:24 PM  
Blogger That Broad said...

so true! hence the "that's not funny!"

9:01 PM  
Blogger Susan Constanse said...

Everyone will expect you to don a gorilla mask and hey, look what a hat will do to your hair.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Lisa Hunter said...

Not to mention giving up 4-inch heels for Birkenstocks. And having to major in math at Bryn Mawr.

11:13 AM  
Anonymous gina said...

pretty funny, ladies. basically, everyone will think you are an ugly, mean, aggro bitch if you talk about feminism (and you hate men and want to chop their dicks off), well that, or (even worse)you are just really really boring and irrelevant and, so sad, you dont even realize it! how did it get such a bad rep? i dont get it. there needs to be some pr work done.

11:01 AM  
Blogger That Broad said...

I think gina sums it up very nicely! because we all know that when young women who disavow feminism are asked if they support individual points on the feminist agenda (without using the F word, of course), like equal pay for equal work or the right to control one's own body, and so on, they overwhelmingly favor them. A PR campaign sounds like a very good idea.

8:34 AM  

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