Broadsheet, The Blog

Two Lady Artists with Bees in Their Bonnets

18 December 2006

'Tis the Season

In the spirit of the holiday season I would like to wish everyone a Very Happy Chanukkah (my preferred spelling variant) and to share with you this moving piece of spam that I received the other day. As I am not now, nor have I ever been a Christian, I was most surprised to be the recipient of this blatantly false appeal, intended to lure both the greedy and the stupid. That doesn't seem very christian, now does it?

Happy Holidays,
The Broads

****

MRS LOUISA WELSH

DEAR FRIEND,

PLEASE UTILIZE THE FUNDS JUDICIOUSLY FOR HUMANITARIAN PURPOSES. Do not be surprised on my aquittance. I got your email from a list of christian individuals site my Doctor showed me. I am the above named person presently residing in Belgium on treatment. I am married to MR GERALD P WELSH who worked with BRITISH HIGH COMMISSION in BRAZIL for nine years before he died in the year 2002. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $28.5Million (twenty eight Million five hundred thousand United State Dollars) with an OFFSHORE BANK in UK. Presently, this money is still under the safe keeping of the BANK.

Recently, my Doctor(Garry Stewart) diagnosed that I would not last for the next SEVEN months due to my cancer problems. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having known my condition, I have decided to donate this fund to church or better still a good individual like you that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want this funds to be used on orphanage and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers and in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. As soon as I get your response, I would instruct the bank to have the funds released to a security company. I would pay the deposit fee for it and you would have to contact them on how how best you would want to receive it. You should commence with the projects immediately you receive the funds and keep me or my Doctor who has access to my email always updated. He is a good man Doctor Garry Stewart and he would also be assisting you with advise on how to utilize the funds. you can contact me via email.

Email: (omitted to protect the stupid and the greedy)

Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible. Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs Louisa J. Welsh

(emphasis mine)

6 Comments:

Blogger This Broad said...

happy holidays to everyone from your recovering Catholic broad, too!

ps this doesn't mean we aren't posting again till next year. Although it doesn't *not* mean that either!

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Rebel Bellestky said...

Oy, these Meshuga goniffs sure have a lot of chutzpah! A trolley car should run over them and they should spit up transfers.

Happy whatever holidays!

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh ye of little faith! Don't you know that if you convert to Christianity, Jesus will make sure you get the $28.5 million? And isn't that a worthwhile price to pay?

8:26 PM  
Blogger That Broad said...

wow! could it really be that simple?! It looks like this is going to be The Best Chanukkah EV.ER.!

9:02 PM  
Blogger @rt said...

Season's Greetings, here is another aimed at artists' hopes of exhibiting in Europe, Paris 2007.

2:11 PM  
Blogger That Broad said...

now this takes us in a very interesting direction - art scams. I am wondering if anyone knows about the Florence Biennale which, while having a seemingly legit website, lures artists in with the notion of having been "chosen" and then having to pay an exorbitant fee to show their work. Discussed ad nauseum with no seemingly real conclusion last time I checked the Saatchi boards... which, admittedly, was a long time ago.

5:37 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home