Artastrophe

Overheard in Miami:

"Daniel Reich is like Woody Allen on LSD."


What we saw, artwise:

* Deer: a thousand or more created or represented in every conceivable medium
* Chandeliers: almost as many
* Natural sponges glued to canvas: just a couple
* Wan little drawings that take up a fraction of the page: in every booth at every fair
* Felt: many yards
* Porn: never goes out of style
* Pornbroidery: in decline but still quite popular
* Artwork that made fun of art fairs: lots, usually accompanied by unironic red dots
* Satellite fairs spinning around Miami Basel: Somebody said there were 12

And for the non-art, but still artastrophic:

* Anxious clipboard people: hovering in doorways behind countless velvet ropes
* Exhausted art dealers earning their 50%: I wouldn't want to be one
* Big hairy male butts mooning the poolside crowd at ritzy hotels: only one thank god
* Excessive and ostentatious Japanese minimalism: more is less
* $20 million loft apartments: one
* $20 drinks: shockingly common
* Babies: everywhere
* Outrageous fake ta-tas: a gazillion times two
* Martha Stewart: one
* Enough art to make us feel insignificant and inconsequential for months to come: yes

Well, it'll take us a while to recover from all that.